49+ Funny Travel Quotes We Love in 2023

Travel can be fun, but it can also be chaotic. What better way to make the best of a weird travel experience than by having a good sense of humor? That’s where our quotes come in.

Our Favorite Funny Travel Quotes

Throughout history, many people coined famous quotes to describe the funny side of travel. Read on to learn some funny travel quotes in history.

1. “Don’t worry about the world ending today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz
2. “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain
3. “A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu
4. “Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.” – Truman Capote
5. “To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.” – Aldous Huxley
6. “I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.” – Oscar Wilde
7. “Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen.” – Benjamin Disraeli
8. “If all difficulties were known at the outset of a long journey, most of us would never start out at all.” – Dan Rather
9. “Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew, and for several days we had to live on nothing, but food and water.” – W. C. Fields
10. “A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle, we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.” – John Steinbeck
11. “What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?” – George Carlin
12. “Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” – Susan Sontag
13. “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” – Al Gore
14. “Travel is glamorous only in retrospect.” – Paul Theroux
15. “Why, I’d like nothing better than to achieve some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.” – Aristophanes
16. “Airplanes may kill you, but they ain’t likely to hurt you.” – Satchel Paige
17. “The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience. The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him. He goes ‘sight-seeing.'” – Daniel J. Boorstin
18. “When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.” – Helen Hayes
19. “I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags.” – Guy Clark
20. “Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.” – Al Boliska
21. “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux
22. “In America, there are two classes of travel – first class, and with children.” – Robert Benchley
23. “I think a major element of jetlag is psychological. Nobody ever tells me what time it is at home.” – David Attenborough
24. “Travel is the frivolous part of serious lives and the serious part of frivolous ones.” – Sophie Swetchine
25. “My wife and I have so much fun when we travel and find anything… like stray cats and squirrels.” – Eric Roberts
26. “I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me, they are more fascinating than any fashion salon.” – Wallis Simpson
27. “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” – Charles Spurgeon
28. “I travel light. I think the most important thing is to be in a good mood and enjoy life, wherever you are.” – Diane von Furstenberg
29. “I’ve gotten to travel all over the world, and meet all kinds of people and do all kinds of great things, so it’s, like, surreal. It just lets you know how time flies, especially when you’re having fun. It seems like time keeps going by faster as I get older.” – Mekhi Phifer
30. “Nothing in the universe can travel at the speed of light, they say, forgetful of the shadow’s speed.” – Howard Nemerov
31. “Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything.” – Charles Kuralt
32. “I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.” – Caskie Stinnett
33. “What is it we want out of travel? Is it to take snapshots of ourselves in front of famous monuments, surrounded by other tourists? To eat unfamiliar food chosen from unintelligible menus? To earn frequent-flier miles? No. It’s to glimpse what life is like somewhere else.” – Chris Pavone
34. “Ah! Young people, travel if you can, and if you cannot – travel all the same!” – Jules Verne
35. “The photograph reverses the purpose of travel, which until now had been to encounter the strange and unfamiliar.” – Marshall McLuhan
36. “It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.” – Dave Barry
37. “Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for fuel and need no special parking facilities.” – Lewis Mumford
38. “When you grow up in a place, you always think it’s mundane. Then you travel around and live in different places, and you realize that you’ve got it the wrong way ’round.'” – Irvine Welsh
39. “Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.” – Stephen Fry
40. “Too often, travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversation.” – Elizabeth Drew
41. “I travel the world, and I’m happy to say that America is still the great melting pot – maybe a chunky stew rather than a melting pot at this point, but you know what I mean.” – Philip Glass
42. “I never saw a discontented tree. They grip the ground as though they liked it, and though fast-rooted, they travel about as far as we do.” – John Muir
43. “The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is, at last, to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land.” – Gilbert K. Chesterton
44. “Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind, and I like to write standing up.” – Ernest Hemingway
45. “Since I travel so much, it’s always great to be home. There’s nothing like getting to raid my own refrigerator at two in the morning.” – Amy Grant
46. “We all know how we can be turned around by a magic place; that’s why we travel, often. And yet we all know, too, that the change cannot be guaranteed. Travel is a fool’s paradise, Emerson reminded us, if we think that we can find anything far off that we could not find at home.” – Pico Iyer
47. “You have to have a little humility if you’re Danish because you’re never going to be able to travel outside the country unless you can speak another language.” – Sidse Babett Knudsen
48. “By the time I’m 40, interplanetary travel will be common. Nobody will want to talk to me at that age, anyway.” – Ace Frehley
49. “In spite of the opinions of certain narrow-minded people, who would shut up the human race upon this globe, as within some magic circle it must never outstep, we shall one day travel to the moon, the planets, and the stars, with the same facility, rapidity, and certainty as we now make the voyage from Liverpool to New York!” – Jules Verne
50. “I don’t understand people who travel purely gastronomically, who book a Michelin-starred restaurant three months in advance and suddenly find themselves in Copenhagen or Barcelona with a zeitgeist plate of snail porridge.” – Sue Perkins

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When you look at even the most irritating travel experience, you can find a way to indulge in some humor. Use humor as a tool in your travel arsenal with these funny travel quotes. So what are you waiting for — book your trip today!